Way out in the Middle of Nowhere

Yeah, I have no excuse why I didn't post during the summer. Now? I'm working part time, school full time and then there's the farm. This is my last semester before I start my clinical rotation. There's a petition process, although I'm still at a loss WHY I need to ask someone to become an unpaid intern in their clinic while paying the school for the 'privilege' of doing so..but what the hell. The professors are loading up on the homework. I swear every time I enter a classroom there's a test due. I'd love to practice drawing blood but the other gals in my class are not cooperative. One has anemia, so can't draw hers. One gets woozy, the other has dodgy veins and the last gal is pregnant. Great, wonderful. Um,..yeah. I drag my ass out of bed, do chores then head on out to the school for either work or class. Then I drag my butt home, do homework, do chores, do more homework. Any chance I get to rest is obliterated by now. Weekends, rush aro...

It's been more like a week without any real knitting. Friday before last I woke up feeling like the floor of a NYC Taxi cab. Even at work, the boss noticed. Although he thought I had gone out partying the night before. It was a vicious cold. The remnants are still hanging on. I've got bronchitis and a set of sinsues that scream each time I cough. But the worst of it is over. Odd though, even when I'm laying there wheezing and shivering and wishing to be unconscious, I don't knit. I'll lay there doing nothing, but I will not knit. You'd think I would just be knitting all the time since my brain is too stuffed up for any higher-level processing. Oh I know knitting can be tricky, but knitting hats is easy. Before I started back at school, I knitted a 6' long stole for myself. It's just like 100 stitches, knitted in stockinette with the exception of the last 3 stitches on each side, to keep it from rolling. All white sock yarn, all off a 1,100 yard co...

“The Catholic Church has too much wealth. The Pope talks of how people should spread their wealth, maybe the Pope ought to sell off the stuff that the Catholic Church has.”   I’m hearing this over and over and over again right now. So let’s talk this out logically. There is quite a bit of sarcasm involved in my discussion just because everyone pulls this meme out over and over and over and over again and fails to even think beyond the 140 character twitter post. But I DO THINK beyond the sentence and what you get is what goes when you actually THINK about a subject. After the sale, this will be in the bathroom of Bill Gates, good luck seeing it there. First of all, the Pope owns nothing. None of the items in the neither Vatican, nor elsewhere are his. When he became a Priest many years ago, he took vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.  He can talk all he wants about selling all of your possesions, because he owns nothing. His experience in his previous l...

Today's Meme is more about the ability of some people to purposely stay stupid. I just came across a report where someone claims that Huggies wipes has glass in it. All I can think about at this time is how FUCKING STUPID people have become. I mean, REALLY! Think about this for a second.. no I mean it: THINK ABOUT THIS! 1. WHY would Huggies have glass in their wipes?  What benefit would that be to the wipe itself? NONE. 2. Does everyone instinctively think that everyone else is trying to harm them with a product? Yeah...I got over that when I was 8. I used to think my parents were poisoning me with those dark krispies in the Rice Krispy box.   Much as it is your wettest dream to think that corporations are just out to harm as many people as possible, let me reassure you that IT JUST IS NOT TRUE. STOP IT!!!    Another time where common sense and about 2 seconds of thought would render that untrue. Companies are out to make a profit, yes? How can they make a p...

Ok, I'm not totally SURE that's the cold I have, but if it's not...it's pretending well. Last Tuesday night I went to bed feeling like I had a bad allergic reaction to something. It happens. I took a Benadry, Ibuprofen and Claritin and went to bed. I awoke feeling worse than I did before bed: Runny nose, all stuffed up, that feeling that you've been run over by a bus. Yeah, it was not fun. I took the day off from school, begged off my chores to Alex and just slept most of the day. A few days later I was better, but that cold has migrated to my lungs - my old, asthmatic lungs. I wake up, hork up some mucous, toke on my inhaler and get some coffee. So how does one cope with having a bad cold like this without having to go to the doctor? Well, over the counter meds and some good old-fashioned home remedies. OTC Meds: Mucinex DM - Well, any generic medicine containing Guaifenesin will work. My generic med has that and a decongestant. Now the caveat to taking G...

I'm back from the grocery store. We were out of milk. I was out of soda...it was necessary. Oh and HEY! Ice cream was on sale! So I gather milk, soda, pizzas and that awesome ice cream and head to the checkout lane. I'm a tad frustrated because my pen is not in my purse. That means I'll have to wait until I am being checked out to write out the check. Meh, I write fast. The woman in front of me...in her 70's by my reckoning has a whole cart full of stuff. She starts instructing the bag boy (man?) to not crush stuff, keep this to the side etc. Oh goodie! She's going to be one of those people. Others who queue up behind me suddenly realize how slow this line is and in a huff wander off to another line. Whatever, I mean, this can't possibly take TOO long, right? Food's been scanned, the lady hands the cashier a dozen coupons. The two of them go through these coupons, 'did you buy this?' no..that coupon goes in one pile, the other ones that were f...

Last week, my shoulder decided it did not like shoveling loads of muck out of the mud pit. I had a grumpy arm that wouldn't allow me to move it without griping about the movement. Lovely, eh? It was my left shoulder as well, which makes it oh so much more challenging as a left-handed person. I had gotten the TENS unit that Icy Hot sells for Dave, as his back was hurting. It did wonders for him, but was fiddly: the buttons are on the unit itself and impossible to reach when attached to the back. I tried it on my shoulder. It made it worse. It got to the point where any movement on my upper body sent it to thralls of great pain. The pain itself reached a crescendo Friday night when we wrapped the shoulder. I ended up on the recliner to sleep and spent the next 2 nights there as well. There was just no way to sleep in bed without it hurting. At least in the recliner, I could prop it up and put the heating pad on it.  A regimen of 4 ibuprofen plus the heating pad helped out a lot....

I've been having interrupted sleep lately which is screwing up my days something fierce. It also makes me very short-tempered.  I also could not give a rat's hairy butt what I look like with 4 hours of sleep plus 2 hours of trying to sleep on a 30 year old recliner. So. Here's my not giving a crap look: Penny hatched out one gosling. Well, there was another one but it died shortly after getting out of the shell. Chaos ensued the days after the hatching and we could not convince the uncles that they should leave Mom and Dad alone to bond with the gosling. In the chaos of hissing, wing beating and fights, some goose stepped on the egg and on the gosling inside. I tried to help it out, but he was a goner. Nellie is brooding in that same garage. When her babies hatch the fencing goes up around the opening to the garage that same moment and does not go off until time to put them back in. The uncles are just too violent. These are the uncles: Sweet Pea, Gingi and Bud...

It's been freezing cold for pretty much the whole month. Today it is a balmy 13° in Wisconsin, but the wind is gusting 30 mph out of the West. It's enough to take what little breath you have away. SO...Sissy's inside again. She's stressed out ..again. She's got a patch about the size of a fifty cent piece plucked to the skin on her chest.  That's some pretty serious stressing going on. Until she can go outside and get away from the flock on a regular basis, she'll spend her days inside with me. I did not pass calculus last semester, so I get to take it again. This semester it is offered at night. I hope that means I can learn better. 8 am was not a good time to learn complex math.  I thought it was a bummer to be gone from my honey nights, but then I thought, 'he's got Friday through Tuesday off all day. In effect, I will have as about as much time as I have now with him.' Only Tuesday - Thursday will I not see him much. And to pick up an extr...

So A&E essentially fired Phil Robertson, Patriarch of the Duck Commander/Buck Commander clan. Why? Because he spoke in an interview with GQ (why I have no idea) about his Christian beliefs and what the Bible teaches about the sin of homosexuality. aaand this is where I lose my last follower. But let me clarify another misconception about the Catholic Church: You can BE a homosexual and still belong to the church. You just can't practice homosexuality, which is considered a sin. What level of sin it is..I do not know, but the PRACTICE of it is the sin..not the being. There are millions of people out there that have the same opinions as Phil. I am one of them. He did put them out succinctly, albeit a bit more crass than I would. I'm not going to quote the whole article because most of the news outlets online have made sure that the first two paragraphs are alllllllllllll ooooovvvvvvvvvvvvver the place, but this is the paragraph that I remember the most: "Robertson rel...

Ok, if one of you is sitting there holding a voodoo doll that looks like me...can you take out the pins now? Please??? Bad Juju has followed me for about a month now. The latest layer on the crap cake is my coffee maker dieing. I mean...........really? Last weekend the microwave gave up the ghost.  Dave pulls out the old one we had and it didn't work.  So he ended up taking it apart and repairing it.  Now we have a microwave. I SWORE I turned on the oven last night to make dinner.  We had to sit and wait an extra hour for the tater tot caserole to bake because the oven wasn't on. Oh the timer was on, but not the oven. ~facepalm~ The entire spare bedroom needs to be emptied and have the carpets cleaned *again*. I did it two weeks ago and one of the cats has decided that it's one big litter box. Good thing all my stuff is in plastic boxes, but still.  I can't sew in there, the smell makes me wanna puke. Which is why if you go to my Etsy shop , you will ...

Updates: 1. STILL fighting with school over financial aid.  Due to the fact that I dropped that Lit class, they've withdrawn my ability to get any loan. I'm 1 credit short of what they consider 'part time'. I had my advisor find another credit -working with the theater dept.- but they say it's too late. which brings me to: 2. Fighting with the UW about that stupid flipping book. At this point, their obsessive love of this book detailing the abuse of young girl is becoming hilariously ridiculous.  You mean to tell me that this is THE  definitive book on the African-American experience? This book is 40 years old! Try finding a book from THIS century! But still...I've got an interim director who just freaked when I told her that she was being insensitive by her vehement defense of this book. She STILL defends it! 3. I've got a Calc test today. Wish me luck. 4. I came home yesterday to find 3 dead geese lined up by the mailbox.  Someone had hit 3 of Mol...

I made a hex sign. Sometimes they are called a barn quilt, but I call it a hex sign.  When I get done putting that last layer of clear on it, I'll have Dave put it on the coop. Right now it's sitting propped up on the hedge in the front yard. The fun part is that 2/3 of the paint on this thing was free.  I had to pay for the quart of pumpkin, but the purple and cream were free quarts from Ace.  One day a year they have a free quart of paint in the color of your choice.  Dave came back with the cream, I went down for the purple. The design is called 'flying geese'. I thought it was appropriate. It was the first day we tried butchering ducks. Yeah, no more raising ducks for food. Next year it will be chickens. The ducks are too hard to butcher, pluck and dress. It takes about an hour a duck. School started.  I had two classes, Calculus and Multicultural Lit. The Lit class was an online class. I was in the process of gathing the reading materials, readin...

I was relating how my Dad gave me advice some 20+ years ago.  He said, "Brenda, not everything needs to be a fight. Sometimes it's just better if you'd shut up." Interesting advice, but it has an interesting story behind it. (The picture has noting to do with the story, but I have to add them because I like pictures.  This is Tigger, my kitty) Back some 20 years ago, I was on welfare, getting Section 8 housing after that SOB of a Father to my son left us high and dry before I was even showing.  What do you do when 1/2 of the parental units bails on you? You go on welfare and work your ass out of that situation.  Well, Alex was less than 1 year old, and Section 8 will not allow you to be living in a 1 bedroom apartment with a child. You need 2 bedrooms, so I needed to move. I found an apartment on the other side of town in an 8 unit building; upstairs and to the right.  It'll do and Section 8 approved it. Only after that did I find out that the Landlord o...

I'm nice? Well-behaved? Taught better manners?  Ah I don't know. Y'all remember that shortly after Christmas I invited family to our home to celebrate Christmas, right?  Man, I had the best intentions, a good dinner, great family fun...even Skyped Deb in so she can see her family. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.  I've saved the photos from this debacle, because up until the moment my BIL intentionally started the fight w/Dave...it was going very well.(I'm deliberately trying to forget my BIL's emotional abuse of me. I'm considering the source) My In-Laws' were talking of this huge get-together in the summer for their 60th Wedding Anniversary.  It was going to be fun. That weekend is here and all the rest of the family are in BRF celebrating.  We got an invite, and discussed it.  After all was discussed, we were pretty sure it was an empty gesture.  We don't go where we're not wanted. There's still a lot of animosity, ...

I was thinking about this so maybe it's time to address bullying in a different way: by a story.  You see, I'm the only one in the knitting group who has been kicked out of a Knit Along. Ok, as I say it, "I was asked to leave."  a knit-along.  Yeah. because I called out the List Mom on bullying. I used to join Knit Alongs.  The jist of them is that the person running the knit along - the List Mom - puts out a section of a chart or directions each week and you knit that part, not knowing what you'll get for a design until the end. The knit alongs is run through a email group, which allows you to control how many people are in the group and who gets what kind of message. Each week the email goes out to gather up another clue and others chat about things and post pictures of their progress.   It's a great way to get a few thousand people to test-knit your designs.  Heck, one of my favorite shawls was made that way: Dem Fisher Sin Fru from Monika Eckert ...

Sissy likes to chew on my hair, even in winter.  She finds a lock sticking out of my hat and chews on it.  Well, in order to do so she has to be on my lap, so I let her up and she chews and I tell her how she's a good goosie and such. Last night I was telling tall tales of this thing called 'spring'.   When the snow melts and green, tasty grass grows as far as the eye can see.  Where good goosies can go and graze on the fresh grass and even snag those tasty chicory blossoms.  Oh, remember those days, Sissy!? This morning is desolate, windy, freeze-your-ass-off cold and nothing but that flipping snow.  This is a view from the garage which has been turned into a shelter for the animals.  The door is left open, fresh food and water are laid out, and a layer of straw sits on the floor.  It gives a wind break from the freezing flipping wind. It's supposed to be my "Spring Break' here.  Spring Break my ass! It's snowing! It's freezing! I'm...

I'm on that quest to cleanse my soul, so here's another chunk of miasma for you: I've learned not to like people these days. And as each day progresses on, I dislike people more.  It's gotten to the point where I just don't want  to be around others. People have become nothing more than hateful, spiteful, narcissistic asshats. Hell, Even my In-Laws' refuse to behave for two fucking days. They have to make my Christmas *just that more horrible* because some person on TV told them to hate their own kid. Their own child! Someone they've known since birth!  Their ability to be swayed into thinking the worst of their Son simply because someone on TV told them so, shows how really moronic they are. That concept in itself shows me how shallow their real intelligence is.  It's superficial, meant to dupe others into giving them respect, but not an iota of respect is shown the other way.  And they are not the only one; millions do that every day.  Pe...

I have to admit that my last blog post was hideous,  but necessary. My soul has been slowly crushed by all the bile that others force me to bear.  These people think they are doing something awesome, and something that they feel they have a right to do: Treat others like they are less than dirt. All I've been feeling for the last few months is pain.  Oh I hide it well, because showing it will cause distress in those who have not put that pain there. Dave does not deserve it. Alex does not deserve it.  But the pain is there and I'm not willing to walk about this earth carrying it any more. Isn't time I deserve better than to be someone else's dumpster? All I have ever wanted was love, but if that's not possible, then maybe just to be left alone? But no. Your goal is to make me feel unwanted, unloved and undeserving of what you give total strangers. Yes, I know all the psychological bullshit about not letting it get to me and all that, but face it people: It DO...

Solitude Ella Wheeler Wilcox Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone. For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth, But has trouble enough of its own. Sing, and the hills will answer; Sigh, it is lost on the air. The echoes bound to a joyful sound, But shrink from voicing care. Rejoice, and men will seek you; Grieve, and they turn and go. They want full measure of all your pleasure, But they do not need your woe. Be glad, and your friends are many; Be sad, and you lose them all. There are none to decline your nectared wine, But alone you must drink life's gall. Feast, and your halls are crowded; Fast, and the world goes by. Succeed and give, and it helps you live, But no man can help you die. There is room in the halls of pleasure For a long and lordly train, But one by one we must all file on Through the narrow aisles of pain.  -The interesting note about this poem is the fact that Ella Wheeler Wilcox wrote it in 1...