Monday, January 28, 2013

Will this be me in 20-ish years?

So, Alex and I were watching My Little Pony - Stop laughing, it's actually a decent cartoon.  Well, I must explain: Alex and his Skype friends are 'Bronies' -guys who like My Little Pony.  Hey, he could be doing coke off a dead hookers ass, but instead he's watching a kids' cartoon.  I'm fine with that.  He encouraged me to watch a few episodes to gain an opinion and I did.

It's better than I expected.  (BTW, to whomever made the photo: Thanks! It's a cute pic)

The episode on Saturday that got me thinking was about Alex's favorite pony, Fluttershy and her wish to become friends with a Chinese Dragon named Discord.  Oh and Discord's voice is the same dude who did Q for the ST: TNG  TV Show.  Discord is a mean dragon, always trying to get an angle off Fluttershy who is trying to be nice to him.  Eventually Discord pulls one too many BS moves and Fluttershy gets ticked.  Anyone who knows the show knows, Fluttershy doesn't get ticked often. But she does and she tells Discord that she's not his friend anymore, and that even though Discord has thought he won, he didn't.  Why? Because he lost his opportunity to have any friends.

Discord gets it finally and the moral of the story comes out: Sometimes in a friendship, you don't get your own way.

Profound for a kid's cartoon, eh?  My comment while I was watching that was, "I've got a few In-Laws' who could use that kind of message,"  To which Alex replies, "Have them watch the show."

Yeah, that won't happen and my mind runs through 100 reasons why they won't watch anything. It's new, someone told them to do it, and it's not their thing.  In the last 14 years, I've not seen much new-ness in their lives.  They do what they've always done.  Now, is that going to be me in 30 years? Will I be so set in my ways that I refuse to do anything new, experience anything not in my little realm? Judge people based on my little world?

Oh Lord, I hope not!  I remember flipping channels at the In-Laws' one time, and coming across "How it's Made."  I asked if my MIL wanted to see it and explained the premise of the show to her, "Oh no, I don't want to watch that." She replied.  Who wouldn't want to see how products are made? Isn't everyone curious to see how everyday objects are made? It's a huge hit in this family, so much so we can tell when we've seen an episode too many times. Where's the curiosity in this family?

I wonder if this is my future. As I wonder, I already know the answer is a resounding NO. I enjoy learning new things. I have a curiosity to learn about new cultures, new tastes, new knowledge.  In doing so, I learn a tolerance towards others that I just don't see in many of my fellow man.  I understand stuff because I KNOW about it. I LEARN!!  I mean, how many 43 year old people do you know that go back to school to finish their Bachelor's Degree.  Will I be guaranteed a job after this? Probably not. There are too many narrow-minded individuals who see age and not skills. EH. At least I know more than most.

I learn to cook food from new cultures, I talk to younger students, I read up on anything that I have a question about. Sometimes I get more than I wanted to know, but it's ok. I remember seeing a book in a catalog about something to do with Chickens, I was curious. I Googled the book and it was about neutering male Chickens. Yeah...not going to happen with mine. But at least I KNOW.

Does that make me a bit cocky? Yeah.  I mean, COME ON! I'm not so special.  Anyone can do this, but it means you need to get out of that little world and be able to learn. I'm not going to be a grumpy, narrow-minded, self-righteous 70 year old. I dare to be different!

Monday, January 21, 2013

Have Mercy!

It's like 6 degrees Fahrenheit outside with a wind chill of -30 degrees Fahrenheit.   NO Animal gets outside today...well except for me to do chores.

African Geese can get their knobs frostbitten. So we made the decision to keep them in their enclosure today.  I went out and got them fresh food and water and plugged in a radio to keep them less bored. They're listening to country music.

But let's talk knitting, shall we? Or at least fiber play.  Some new things off the needles:

Not really all that new, but I've been working on my sock leftover blanket for about 5 years.  I'm currently working on straightening it out.  The right side needed another row added down to the bottom and the left side needed another row added to the top. That squares it up, so I can keep knitting it longer.  Right now, it is about 4 1/2' long by 3' wide.

A Pair of fingerless mitts I have been working on for almost a year now.  You know the SSS? Second Sock Syndrome? This is like that, except it's SMS Second Mitt Syndrome.  The first one was done in a week, the 2nd one took 8 months.

Below you will see the needle felted goose I've been working on for a few days. The head and neck turned out good, but making the body is still iffy. I need to make the stripes smaller. Dimensions on this is about 3" long by 2" high. Maybe I ought to try to make them larger.

I also made a quick and dirty black cowl for Alex who is working out outside and needs to cover his nose and mouth while running in cold air. There's a cute shawl on the needles that is made from that Diva yarn from Hobby Lobby. It has sequins in it. I'm on my 2nd and last skein.  It should be done before too long.

School starts again this week, Friday.  I have Physics, Animal Biology and Chemistry for Engineers. I took the Biology because of my flock of animals here.  It has absolutely nothing to do with my Engineering major, but fills my need for knowledge.

I am enjoying my last bit of free days; writing some. working on a draft pattern for a Regency type dress and taking naps. It's good that I took this time off from doing schoolwork. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

It was a day to remember..

Now if this were a romantic novel, that would be a good day to remember.  Yesterday and this morning are ones that I'd rather just not happen. My ducks and geese were ambushed by the two dogs that live next door.
                             a bit blurry, but the 4 ducks this morning - injury free but wary. 

Now a bit of story on those dogs: they are hunting dogs specifically trained to hunt geese and ducks. The youngest one luvs ducks. I've encountered the youngest one before, and she's very well trained as a hunting dog.

So there I stood yesterday, waiting to put peanut butter on my toasted bagel.  That's when I hear a ruckus outside and see the ducks running heads in the air towards the back. I turn to see large birds flying to the Northwest out of the other window.  It was only when I saw Buddy's big white butt flying over that I realize, that OH SHIT, those are my geese flying 20' over my head and off into the blue! What is going on???

So I ran outside and see the youngest dog with one of my ducks in it's mouth by its' neck.  I holler the dogs' name then 'DOWN!" and she puts the duck down on the ground and it scurries off.  I see the elder dog by the burn pile about to grab another.  "DOWN!" I holler again.   I look up the path to the CRP fields and see Sissy's white butt scurrying down the path.  She can't fly due to the fact she's blind in one eye, but man she was a'truckin' down that path! There is a definite female wiggle to that girl.........

As fast as I could, I hollered for Alex's help, got on snow boots and my down coat and went after Sissy. I told Alex to get those dogs out of the yard any way that he could. Whatever he did worked, because by the time I got to Sissy and picked her up, he was at the beginning of the path waiting for me.  I handed Sissy to him with the direction to put her in the pen and corral the ducks.  I went in search of the other 5 geese, doing my best goose honks that I could.

I got a response from what I think was Ron about 1/4 mile away. So I trudge down to them, see Ginny, Sweet Pea, Buddy and Ron all together.  Alex helps me get them herded back to the house and I end up trying to spend the remaining 2 hours before sundown finding Percy.

I could not find him. I searched for tracks, I honked, I 'Ockled' (his favorite call), Hell, I even sang 'soft kitty'.  Nothing. I cried, fearing he was dead.  When Dave came home, I was a basket case.  I wanted Percy to come home.  I did not sleep well last night, my mind was racing on where or what was going on with him. It's my responsibility to keep them safe and I failed.

At 4 am I woke and could not get back to sleep. The couch seemed like a good idea, so I came downstairs and put on the heating pad. It helped me get back to sleep for a few more hours. When Dave came down to leave for work, I woke up kissed him and dozed for a 1/2 an hour.  When 7 am came, I stood up and looked out the window to gauge the time before sunrise.  I  *thought* I heard a honk, but perhaps my mind was just wishfully thinking.

But no, there he was: Percy was pacing by the chicken coop honking.  I was so excited to see him that I threw on my down coat and wellies over my nightgown and ran after him.  The goose got a hug from me and I plopped him in the pen with the others, just so relieved he was alive and fine.

Percy this morning after I let them out.  He's preening himself.   In fact the rest of the flock spent a lot of the day preening, when they weren't resting.
Top to bottom: Ginny, Ron and Sweet Pea.
Don't let the names fool you, they are all male. And they are all very protective of their girl, Sissy.  I was much relieved that when they flew over the house, they flew together.

Dave and I will be having a discussion on whether or not to clip their wings this weekend. It's painless and will not hurt the geese, but will render them unable to fly any distance.  We will be discussing whether or not that would be beneficial if the dogs get over to our place again.

I start spring semester in a week, and will not be here to go after them again IF the dogs get out and ambush them again.  We're going to have to have a talk with the neighbors...

Monday, January 14, 2013


I seem to have lost my ability to write a coherent thought and extrapolate on it, so I'll do random thoughts today.

1. New Years' goals: Work out for one hour with our new Wii every day.  So far, so good.  Even Dave was bowling and doing archery on it yesterday. The tennis part is kicking my butt, but I've got plenty of time to perfect my swing.

2. Another goal: Pay attention to serving sizes on food.  For instance, this is one serving of cereal.  I've been serving myself way too much of everything.  Time to get into the habit of looking at serving sizes.

3. Our Son has made a decision about the military. More when I get concrete proof this is the real deal.

4. Every Morning since it's been so cold, I schlepp out to the animals 3 gallons of water in the morning and in the evening.

Odd thing is that I think they prefer that water to stuff from the faucet. They don't get let out of their pens until the thermometer reaches 10 degrees Farenheit.  Today, that might be a bit later.  Oh I'll rewater and refeed, but they will wander the coop and garage til it hits 10.

5. I've been spinning some Romney wool from a washed fleece on my Midi Bosworth.  Absolutely hands-down my best drop spindle. Each skein on the right is roughly 100 yards. My goal is over 1000 yards to knit a new circular shawl. Only 700 more yards to go. It takes about a day to spin the 200 yards and ply it into 100.

6.  New hat made from Aurora Borealis Twist from Hobby Lobby

7. Mittens knitted from recycled sweater yarn. I needed something in acrylic that could be washed.

Percy taking a bath.  Snow, cold, ice does not really bother them.  They'll be in that pool nonetheless.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2013 - The year I take my soul out for a wash.

I have to admit that my last blog post was hideous,  but necessary. My soul has been slowly crushed by all the bile that others force me to bear.  These people think they are doing something awesome, and something that they feel they have a right to do: Treat others like they are less than dirt.

All I've been feeling for the last few months is pain.  Oh I hide it well, because showing it will cause distress in those who have not put that pain there. Dave does not deserve it. Alex does not deserve it.  But the pain is there and I'm not willing to walk about this earth carrying it any more.

Isn't time I deserve better than to be someone else's dumpster? All I have ever wanted was love, but if that's not possible, then maybe just to be left alone? But no. Your goal is to make me feel unwanted, unloved and undeserving of what you give total strangers.

Yes, I know all the psychological bullshit about not letting it get to me and all that, but face it people: It DOES get to others when you constantly treat them like shit.  YOU ARE HURTING OTHERS and try to justify doing so.

Just stop.

Take a good, hard look at what you are doing.  Is your own self-importance worth the pain you cause others? Do you really need to break down others to build yourself up? If so, please go get help. And stop with the delusions that it another person's fault; it's not.

My solace in this mess has been my Goosies.  No really, my geese.  When I cannot stand another dig, when I cannot handle another human being's bullshit anymore, I go outside and sit with my geese: Sissy, Buddy, Percy, Ron, Sweet Pea and Ginny. In many ways, they are better than humans.  There is something to be said for simple, unconditional love.

I have sat on the frozen ground hugging a goose, crying. Crying because I feel that no one cares. Hell, my In-Laws' even think I should abandon my animals just to travel to their house and pay obesience.


My animals have shown more humanity that you have lately. I will abandon YOU and pay obesience to my geese. THEY DESERVE IT.

Putting up with others' insanity has gotten so bad that I don't even find solace in Knitting anymore. Probably because no one appreciates my gifts. I spend time, talent and effort to make others gifts that I *thought* they would appreciate;only for them to make sure to tell me they throw them out. That's being mean just to be mean; you could have shut your mouth and said nothing, but you wanted to make sure I KNEW you thought my gifts, my talent and my efforts are worthless to you.  Another dig into my soul.

I set up a perfectly great get together a my home and what do I get? Disaster.

No Mom, I don't need for you to bring down your house for this get together, I have blankets, bedding, food, refreshments and all that other stuff.  I get that dig: I don't have the intelligence to be a good host.

That's a dig in my soul that I did not share. Oh yes, I realize how awfully incompetent I am not to even be able to care for my guests, right?
Except that my 'guests' really didn't have the competency to be ...............guests.  A good guest does not deliberately ignore the host and all the other guests, sit on my couch surfing the net and IM'ing others. A good guest does not start fights and then congratulate himself on being awesome.  A good guest he's not.

My day is here: This is your pain that weighs down my soul and you can have it back now.