Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Oh hey! A twofer, but this one is a rant

I'm back from the grocery store. We were out of milk. I was out of soda...it was necessary. Oh and HEY! Ice cream was on sale!

So I gather milk, soda, pizzas and that awesome ice cream and head to the checkout lane. I'm a tad frustrated because my pen is not in my purse. That means I'll have to wait until I am being checked out to write out the check. Meh, I write fast.

The woman in front of me...in her 70's by my reckoning has a whole cart full of stuff. She starts instructing the bag boy (man?) to not crush stuff, keep this to the side etc. Oh goodie! She's going to be one of those people. Others who queue up behind me suddenly realize how slow this line is and in a huff wander off to another line. Whatever, I mean, this can't possibly take TOO long, right?

Food's been scanned, the lady hands the cashier a dozen coupons. The two of them go through these coupons, 'did you buy this?' no..that coupon goes in one pile, the other ones that were for items purchased go in another. 'Did you buy Comet?' 'No, I couldn't find it, but I really need it.'

So we wait while the bag boy goes out into the store to get the Comet. I'm looking at a chick on the front of the Cosmo mag in a hideous dress. Oh look! Another stupid story about orgasms! Cosmo has been flogging that dead horse subject for 30+ years now.  Oops! Comet is here, and the lady finally produces her savings card. Mine has been in the checkbook bookmarking the check I must write out since I started this fiasco.

She produces her debit card and slides it through the machine.  I find a pen on the cash register and start writing out my check. Date, Pay to the order of, signature are ALWAYS written out before I hit the cashier. It's just courtesy to do so. Well, darned if that debit machine is hard to figure out. The cashier is needing to help the lady through the transaction...oops she wants cash back. 'how much?' $20. Ok. we get that taken care of. We are almost to the promised land!

'How do you want that 20 ma'am? Just one 20 dollar bill?'

 "I want a roll of quarters." really? REALLY? I'm trying not to giggle here. I mean, how much time could someone spend purchasing groceries? I'm about to find out! The Cashier wanders off to the Customer Service desk to retrieve a roll of quarters. I'm onto Family Circle Magazine now...how to make luscious summer desserts. Well, that's what the ice cream is for...........that's melting as we speak.

Back she is with that roll of quarters. Now the lady must stow all this into her purse...another few minutes of waiting while the Cashier starts rolling through my stuff.  I warn her about the top on one of the ice cream tubs that is loose and then tell her I have 2 12-packs of soda but only put one up on the check out counter. She swipes my savings card, I write out that amount on the check..booya I'm done!

Two minutes in my transaction, about 15 in the one before me.

Now WHY do I type all of this out? Because I want to point out a few things for you.
1. I have the patience of a saint sometimes. There was not one reason to freak out on the lady before me. She was doing what she had to do. She wasn't being slow to piss me off, nor to 'ruin' my day. She was being who she was. I have patience with people and would hope that by showing this patience off in public that others would do the same. which brings me to........

2. If I have ONE MORE chick shove her fucking cart up my ass, or throw the frustrated look coupled with the heaving sigh, or chat on her infernal cell phone about how that chick in front of her won't 'get out of her way!' I WILL BASH YOUR FACE IN WITH YOUR BOTTLED WATER!!

I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT IT TAKES 10 SECONDS TO WRITE 4 NUMBERS AND 5 WORDS ON A CHECK!!

Yes, I am BETTER than others because I can show patience! Yes, it is boastful to point that out, but sometimes I cannot help it. I AM BETTER THAN YOU when it comes to patience! I think it is time for others to recognize how much it lowers other people in my esteem when they act horribly in a checkout queue. YOUR ACTIONS IN THE CHECKOUT LINE ARE WHY I HATE PEOPLE IN GENERAL!!

Grow up, get a clue, stop acting like everything and everyone should bow down and kiss your ass and get out of 'your way' MAYBE YOU'RE IN MINE!!

/rant.


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