Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Cold Reality

Fred the goose died last night. That's a picture of Fred.  I was out buying new work boots for Alex and found him in front of the pen..already dead. Two geese dead within a week.

I'm exhausted emotionally and physically.  I've spent the better part of the last 2 weeks trying to will Fred and George to good health and then cried over their bodies. I'm up early every morning to let them out, feed and water them and to try to keep Fred and George alive for one more day.

School is well, school : Professors demand you drop everything in your life to study and then get all shitty when you can't.  Perhaps it was stupid of me to think that returning after 25 years to get a degree was going to work. I've got no tolerance for bullshit profs -and both of them are not as competent as my HS Chem teacher by far- and their inability to remain focused, no tolerance for people who cannot comprehend there's a REAL life outside of University.  School is making us all crabby, cranky and rude.  I'm trying to find more time to study and I've got real life that is just as important.

I'm about thisclose to saying "F it" and just finding a job.  I've got the car, right?

Well no.  Alex got a job in IL. He needs my car to get back and forth.  So I'm pretty much where I started: Getting up early, going with Dave to his work then driving home, going to school then going to get him. I'm excited for him; this is his first REAL job. He's all excited, and I'm sure he's running $$ through his mind at all times.  I remember that first real job...it was cool.

WHY did I decided to go to school in the first place? Oh yeah, career and retirement.  Screw that. I want my life back.  I want time to spend with my family, my husband and my friends. And with everything that's fallen into my lap in the last week. I could give a shit less whether or not I pass anything.



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